Throughout the wedding planning process, there are always difficult decisions to make. What wedding venue should you choose? Who will be your wedding photographer? Do you want a band or a DJ? These are all important questions, but perhaps one of the toughest questions to answer is who do you invite to your wedding? Making your wedding guest list can be a headache, but our wedding industry professionals at Platinum know how to answer this. We’re here to help you out with a great guideline you can follow—and hopefully this makes creating your own list a little easier.
Unless you’re estranged from your immediate family (your parents, brothers, and sisters), they should absolutely be the first names on your guest list, and the first to receive wedding invites.
The next most likely people to receive invites are going to be your extended family. Your aunts, uncles, grandma, grandpa, and cousins should all be on your wedding guest list. If there’s someone you’re unsure about inviting, we suggest asking your parents what to do.
Of course, there’s going to be a core group of friends that you immediately add to your wedding guest list. These are the guests that you regularly keep up with and spend a lot of time with, or at least spend a lot of time talking to.
There may be friends that you haven’t seen in years. You’re probably going to be a little pickier in this situation on who you invite. If you haven’t seen or spoken to them in over two years, chances are they aren’t that important in your life. It’s understandable if you want to leave these people off of your wedding guest list.
The first thing we would recommend is to not bring up your wedding too much at the office. Some co-workers might think they’re definitely getting an invite, and it would be awkward for them if you decided not to invite them. For that reason, try and keep the wedding talk to a minimum.
So, should you invite co-workers to your wedding? If you regularly hang out them outside of work, then yes. Go ahead and add them to your wedding guest list. However, if you only speak briefly and politely to them at work, there’s no reason to extend an invitation. Don’t feel bad about it—they’re likely to understand.
This one can be tricky. A lot of this depends on your work environment and how often you spend time with your boss. If you work in a small-to-medium size company, chances are you’ll be spending more time with your boss than if you worked in a large company (again, that also depends on your role).
If you do regularly speak with your boss, we would recommend extending them an invite. If they choose to come, great! If not, then at least you’ve done the courtesy of inviting them. Don’t forget, any extra points you can score with your boss are a bonus for you!
This is a really touchy one to have to deal with. If you don’t want kids at your wedding, that’s totally understandable. It’s your wedding after all, and many young kids can cause problems at the ceremony for both their parents and the other guests.
If you don’t mind kids, great! We would suggest you and your partner decide on a cut-off age (if any) and then relay that information as nicely as you can to your guests. Most parents think their children are angels, so no matter how you do this, expect for someone to be upset—but it’s okay. You can’t please everyone, and they will eventually understand.
Those Who Invited You To Their Wedding
There’s always the question about whether you should invite someone who invited you to their wedding. And of course, the answer is tricky.
If you attended their wedding five years ago and rarely, if ever, speak to or see each other, then we recommend leaving them off of your wedding guest list. However, if they invited you sometime within the last two years, it’s proper etiquette to extend them an invitation—unless you simply don’t like them and don’t want them at your wedding.
Just remember, there’s no hard-and-fast rule about this. It’s wise to use your best judgement.
Tips For Sending Invites
We highly recommend splitting your wedding guest list into an A-list and a B-list. The A-list will include your most important guests. This means your immediate and extended family, your closest friends, and anyone else you couldn’t imagine having your wedding without.
Send out the A-list invites earlier than your second B-list batch. We recommend about 2.5 months before the wedding. This will give your “A-listers” time to RSVP to your wedding, and you’ll have a better idea of how many of them are coming.
After this, send out your B-list invites—but make sure you’re not inviting them a week or two before the wedding! If they’re invited so close to the wedding date, it’s going to imply to them that they are an afterthought. Make sure they’re getting invites at least 4-6 weeks in advance.
Wedding Guest List: Conclusion
The wedding guest list is usually a tough decision, but try not to feel bad about not inviting everyone you’ve ever met. You and your significant other should make a set amount of guests you can afford, and stick to that. You can’t make everyone happy, and hopefully by now, you understand that. The most important people in your life—the ones that truly matter to you—will be on your wedding guest list. Spending your big day with them is the most important thing!